Time with My Kids

These are pics from our park day yesterday! God's been talking to me a lot, as I've mentioned, about being intentional with my time with the kids. About playing with, not just arranging play for them. We had a blast! Gracie's new favorite word? "Wook, Mama" This could be for anything from showing me that I have hair or teeth or just showing me her food that she's eating!


I must close this Wordless Wednesday (I know I'm never wordless, but you have to admit this is WAY fewer words than I usually use!) with requests for prayers for 2 families.

http://lazydranch8.blogspot.com/ and http://cold-water-news.blogspot.com/
Both families are newly adoptive families and both lost a spouse this week. Please pray for them and for their children. I cannot truly fathom their pain right now, but I know ONE who can. Oh Jesus, comfort them! Fill them with your peace right now. Guide them and love them and give them wisdom and protect their hearts with your truth!

RL3: Consequences and Compassion

This may be a SUPER long blog! I have finished Red Letters and am now halfway through Children of Hope by Vernon Brewer (request your free copy online). I have so many thoughts running through my mind that this should probably be 3 or 4 posts. . but, they all run together so it's either a full on conversation (no kids, no interruptions. . yeah right!) or a super long blog! I also am not promising that this will flow well or make sense! Yep, I process through writing and my head is full now, so I'm going to write. . .that doesn't mean it will all make sense yet. . that's what the writing is for ~ to help me make it make sense!

Consequences~ One of the first things that hit me in Red Letters is the concept of "victims" of HIV/AIDS. I think one of the reasons the church has been slow to act IS because AIDS can be viewed as a consequence of someone's action b/c it is sexually transmitted. This goes along the line of "why give condoms to kids in schools". . .basically, if we run in and "fix" the problem or find a cure for AIDS, are we just removing consequences? Now, you may not be one who ever felt this way and I may even offend you for saying it. However, I think this may be one of the biggest hindrances for getting "the church" involved in this crisis. To tell you the truth, I was hoping that Tom Davis would tackle this in the book b/c it was a question of my own heart. I do not ever want to step in God's way. Often, in this country, I believe that we try too hard to make people happy and too quickly remove consequences to that end. Initially, this made me uncomfortable with the AIDS crisis. A number of things touched me as I questioned this. . first, though, let's go with the assumption that EVERYONE who has AIDS got it from sexual promiscuity (not the case, but we'll go into that in a minute). If this were the case, would we still be called to help? The answer seems to be a resounding YES! If we look over Jesus life, we find him spending time with and even helping many sinners. Healing their bodies and restoring their souls. He granted forgiveness to the thief on the cross minutes before his own death. In fact, if we were so bold as to want everyone to "pay" for their sins, we would be quite unhappy if the Lord Jesus did this himself to us. That's what forgiveness and redemption are all about. Here's another thought. . .what if. . . think about it what if. . .the Lord was using AIDS as a discipline tool. Remember now, discipline and punishment are different. Discipline is something God uses to pursue us. To cause us to turn to Him. To change our ways to look at the Father. To get our attention. What if God were using the AIDS crisis to turn people to HIM. Possibly as OUR (the Church) opportunity to go into a place that has been held by Satan is so many way and speak His LOVE through offering hope and healing! What if? Right now, the church has been turning down that opportunity. Think of a man. Yep, the man who got AIDS b/c he went out and raped a woman or had sex with multiple women or any number of things. . .what if AIDS caused him to go looking for help. He got sick and he needs help now. IF, the Church were using our opportunities wisely. . we'd be there! We'd be there to offer the "cold cup of water" that Jesus talks about. We'd be there to offer healthcare or homecare or any number of things and maybe, just maybe have the opportunity to offer true healing in the form of introducing him to the healer!

So, all of the above assumed that people are getting HIV/AIDS because of their lack of self control. This is not the case! Over 90% of newly infected children are born of HIV infected moms. These children made NO choice. Violence against women is very high in Africa. As is unfaithfulness. Many women are getting HIV after their husbands come home with it. These women did not choose it. The saddest spread of HIV / AIDS is purely the work of Satan himself. Over 80% of those infected, seek help from traditional African healers. You know what many witchdoctors tell their "patients" and is now spread as a lie across Africa? That if you have sex with a virgin, you will be cured! Literally, men are going through villages raping women and even little girls to GAIN their cure. In the process, they are leaving behind wounded women and children, not just emotionally but literally. These girls made NO choice. They are literally victims! Then, there are those who are getting the disease because of their actions to keep themselves alive. With no food and no money, there are many young girls (often times single moms with children to care for or young orphan girls) who sell themselves for food. Tom tells the story of one young, orphan girl who at the age of 10, after waiting until she had not eaten for days; finally heads to the men. Hoping against hope that they will have pity on her and simply give her the food, she loses her innocence that day and loses her future in what she contracts. The other victims of HIV / AIDS do not have the disease itself. These are the children whose parents do. These are the children who are being left homeless and orphaned at such a young age. There are whole villages where there are no parents. Children raising children. The adults in many communities are simply overrun. The phrase "it takes a village" was born in Africa and these villages are doing all they can; but, a family can only take in so many children while living in abject poverty themselves! Over half of the population of Swaziland is in danger of being wiped out. Over a third of the adults in Zimbabwe have the disease. This disease is destroying villages, cities and whole nations. It is wiping out the work force, the farming industry and even the teachers.

Those factors combined leave my "maybe it's just the consequences of their actions" thoughtline obsolete. It does not matter. . maybe it is.. .often times it's not. Either way, I/We have an opportunity to make a difference. To share Jesus in a practical way that MAY lead others to a SAVING knowledge of who He is! However, that is hard! Yep, it hurts. I wept reading this book and am continuing to weep reading Children of Hope. Putting faces on these stories makes it real. Vernon Brewer quoted adoptive mom and author Mellisa Fay Greene (author of There is No Me Without You):

I lived in a very small house with my mother," my daughter tells me. "My
mother was very beautiful. She had long, long, long shiny hair that
fell to her waist. We had two things in our house. We had a shelf and we had a baby bed. The bed is too small for my mother, she has to sleep by pulling up her legs. I don't remember when my mother was not sick. I don't really remember my father, sometimes I think I remember him, reading a newspaper. My mother taught me to read when I was four. . .when I was five, I was the one taking care of my
mother. If she needed something, I go to the store for her. When she needs juice, she gives me the coin and I go to buy the juice for her. One time I saw at the store
little sparkly clips shaped like butterflies for your hair. I wanted those clips very much, but I bought the juice for my mother instead. At home, I told my mother about the clips, and she said yes! My mother always said yes. I ran back and I bought the butterfly clips! But, one day a taxi came and I think my mother dies in the taxi. People took me away and they didn't let me go into the house to get the butterfly clips and I never saw my house again. But why did my mother have to die?

One day about four months after arriving in Atlanta, Helen collapsed in my
arms, suddenly stricken with the memory of her late mother. I held her as
she writhed, wailing "Why she had to die?"A few moments later, she said
between sobs, "I know why she died. She was very sick and we didn't
have the medicine."

"I know," I said, "It's true. I'm sorry"
By then, I was well versed in the AIDS orphan crisis, but it floored me that
she captured it with such accuracy, brevity and grief more powerfully than
any of the thousand pages I had read on the subject.

"I wish I had known you then" I told the child in my arms. "I wish I could have sent her the medicine"

I know that was long, but it struck a chord in me. "I wish I had known you then" What a statement. We don't help b/c they are faceless. The stories and statics can be stuck back in some part of our brain. Why would we take them out to dwell on them? They hurt so badly. They don't have a face to us, we don't HAVE to feel that pain. Not like Melissa. . it's her daughter that hurts now. I sit and weep while reading these books, but I've not held a child in my arms who sobs when the medicine that could have kept her mom alive cost $.40 a day. I have never hurt like that. . .maybe if I did, blogging and reading wouldn't cut it for me. . .maybe those questions of "should we help" would not even have been thoughts in my head. So, I for one, will choose to hurt. I think I need that hurting (what little I experience without living in it and breathing it and holding their little bodies) to give God the room to move me.

The questions is SHOULD we hurt? Do we really have to go there? To answer this question or to just get you thinking, I want you to PLEASE go to Amber's blog right now and read what she wrote about compassion. I was tempted to just copy and paste it b/c I think it's that vital of an insight.

I encourage you to struggle through these issues. Ask the questions. Let God search your heart. Don't just choose to relegate it to a part of your brain that lets it be JUST knowledge or facts. I don't know what God will call us to, but I know we need to be willing and ask Him.

First Trip to Sea World!

You know you are a Florida girl when your kid's big "firsts" are theme-park related! So, today was Davis' first trip to Sea World. However, it was a whole day of "firsts" b/c it was actually Ruth and Rachel Nee's first trip too!

Now, I need to take a break from the Sea World talk to tell you about the Nee Family! The Nees are fairly new to our church and I absolutely LOVE them! They are a family of 9 kids ranging from 9-29! Susan, the mom, is in my small group of young moms on Friday mornings and I'm pretty sure that when ANY of us mentions her name it is with, "aren't you just so blessed that she in our small group!" We LOVE her and I am so thankful for her friendship! Her girls are the sweetest girls who LOVE the Lord and Love to serve! In fact, they are homeschooled and Ruth and Rachel VOLUNTEER (yep, you read that right) to watch all our kids on Friday mornings so us moms can do small group and actually talk and share without our kids on top of us! In fact, I have decided that I am going nowhere without the Nee Family! When you have 3 kids 3 1/2 years and younger, 2 of whom are pretty needy, teenagers and people without children are VERY helpful! In fact, we spent most of our week with this sweet family! On Tuesday night, my small group girls went out for a girl's night out to celebrate our friend, Jen's birthday. Susan was there with her daughter Hannah who just moved back to FL after graduating college and who happens to share a passion for orphans and Africa. I remembered about the Ugandan Children's Choir that would be performing the next night at a local church. I convinced their whole family to go with me! We had a blast watching Watoto's Choir perform. This seems like a super sweet ministry in Uganda. Yes, I cried my way through all of their info and stories! But, I was in good company b/c 3 of the 4 Nee girls did too!

Ok, back to Sea World. . .(couldn't go a whole post without mentioning Africa and orphans, could I?!) We had a blast! We went with Carrie and her clan (I've told you about my sweet friend, Carrie before! She's a blast and a wonderful friend as well as passionate pursuer of Jesus) and our friend Lisa. Lisa is also in our small group and has 2 grown boys and is a nanny for a little girl. She is another of our Friday morning blessings. We are so thankful that she chooses to hang out with us young, stupid ones! She is full of grace and humility and love and passion for the Lord and having Him mold her! So, we had a great crew today. . .and LOTS of help for the kiddos for Carrie and I! Here are some of my sweet pics. I didn't take a ton of my kiddos until the last show b/c I kept forgetting.

This is Sam Nee and Denny (Carrie's son). What sweet friends!

Yep, this is what little group shots look like! ha ha! Susan's the only one even remotely looking!
Carrie's little Faith!

Sarah (Carrie's other little angel!)
Brayden along with Sophie (Lisa's little princess)
Miss Lisa and Gracie
I can't ever get these 2 to smile at the same time!

Brayden borrowed the camera for a bit. . .so, here's the Whale and Dolphin Stadium from his viewpoint

Carrie and Faith. Isn't this precious? I think it will be great in black and white. I got this same shot with no smiles too, which is adorable!
Watching those whales, dolphins, divers, gymnasts and birds (this show has it ALL)

So, that was our day! What a fun way to spend the day. Playing with the kids and making memories while building friendships with women who point me to Jesus and model a humble and passionate walk with Him!

Oh yeah, and this is WHY I need the Nees! I asked them the night before if one of the girls would push my 2nd stroller. (I know Brayden's old enough to walk, but he complains pretty easy!) So, I met up with the girls right at the front entrance. I didn't however, make a plan for getting back to my car! So, I loaded all 3 kids in the stroller and folded up the other stroller to hold on top! Yep, people thought I was crazy!

RL2: Think on this. . .

I was just reading Missy's post on Red Letters. She quotes from the book of Matthew saying, "

31"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will
sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before
him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates
the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on
his left. 34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are
blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since
the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat,
I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you
invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked
after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'37"Then the righteous will
answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give
you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or
needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go
to visit you?'40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did
for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

Did you notice the part in BOLD? I did. . for the first time. He didn't say, "Come, you who blessed my Father" but "come you who were blessed by my Father." Then he goes on to share what those people's lives were like. We so often think of feeding the poor and hungry as ministry (which it is). . .I'm just wondering if we need to redefine this. We think of it as work. Worthwhile work b/c it blesses the heart of God. . .but, work nonetheless. In fact, some may be hesitating to even read this book or think on these issues b/c of what it may cost them or what God may call them to (I know I find myself at times wanting to put it down). Maybe my definitions are wrong. The KING said, "you who are blessed BY my Father" and described a life of service. The life of service IS a blessing! That's what the KING says. Is that how I think of it? I need to dwell on this a bit. . . .what about you?

RL1: Globablization

RL1? You may be wondering. . .that stands for Red Letters 1. I'll title them that so I can go back and check them easily! Ok, I started reading and couldn't put it down. Actually, that's not totally true. I wanted to put it down a number of times, and even had to take breaks while reading b/c it is such heavy material. . .but, I kept reading and am loving the book. I have just finished the first 4 chapters. . .There is so much to post about already! I think instead of posting about each chapter, I will post every few days with thematic posts re: what I'm learning. . .It's hard even now to figure out what to post on first. . .

So, let me start with Globalization.

Globalization is the concept that b/c of technology and trade, our world is shrinking. We can ship things overnight across the world. Not only CAN we know about other places in the world more easily now, but b/c of things like outsourcing, those places actually become crucial to our world here. This concept is probably easier for those in the business world to understand. They are often times checking other gov't financial markets, even placing calls to business partners overseas. For a stay-at-home mom, this may not be as much of a reality. But, I see it as an opportunity! I have actually been thinking about this a LOT lately and Tom Davis touched upon it in his book. It used to be that "they" lived in another world. Whoever THEY was, we didn't really understand that world. Even growing up. . .I was passionate about missions and wanted to read every missionary book I could get my hands on. However, b/c it was a book, just like any history book I could read, it still felt removed. Now, however, that is all changing for me. I am LOVING getting to know people all across the world. I have friends all across this nation and am checking blogs every day for missionaries throughout Africa. This has made me, for one, much more global minded. I don't think a year ago, I would have had any clue about the politics of Kenya and am now following them daily.

This struck me yesterday in church. We were singing a song about the various nations crying out to God in praise. I loved kneeling there in church and feeling like I was before the throne room and lifting to Him along with some of you guys: 2 kids in Liberia longing to be home and their family in CO waiting anxiously for them. 3 kids in Liberia waiting to come home to a family and desperately needing the healing of Jesus from the loss of their birth mom, the children in the slums of Kenya who are hungry today, the island in Uganda whose food supply is running out. . .and doing it all knowing that those very same people were being lifted up that morning across the world. It was a very cool moment for me. A recognition of how close we really are. . .of how eternity will really be. He sees us all! This world IS small for Him! ok, it may not be big for you, but it brought tears streaming down my face!

How does this correspond with the "Red Letters" theme? Well, now when I read about the AIDS crisis, it's not just "them". "They" aren't dealing with something that I will never hear about. Their stories are the ones I could read about. They are the kids that Amy and Bethany in Uganda or Daniel and Margeret in Kenya are touching and holding every day. They are the kids that Darbi is going to serve. They are more than just stories. They need my Jesus. My Jesus may be calling me to help them. . .and, with gloabalization this is even easier to do. . .So, I think the first step is opening my heart and choosing to care. . .choosing to hurt for them. And knowing, in the midst of that, it is beautiful. It is beautiful that we get to know a little more of our savior when we choose to care and hurt and help others. He said, "whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me" He is actively involved. We can be impacted by our choice to care b/c it will bring us closer to Him.

Start Reading. . . .

Take the weekend to start reading, girls! Yep, the book club has begun. We'll start with the first chapter of Red Letters: Living a Faith that Bleeds. I'll post my thoughts on the first chapter early next week and give links to all my blog friends who are posting on it too. If you don't have a blog, feel free to leave your comments here!

Florida Backyard!

Ok, just for you Missy! We have been laughing about how amazing our friends' backyards are compared to ours. Amber has amazing winter pics and Jamie's pics of her backyard are gorgeous. . .they make you super jealous!

So, here's my backyard! Seriously, when we joked about posting pics of our 3 x 3 backyards. . .I was serious! This is our WHOLE backyard! We own 70 feet back, but have no clue what'd we do with it, so we leave it be! Pretty much, it's just used for Dumptruck's pooping ground!

Here's our front yard. . .the flower bed was beautiful before we went to Africa. Surprise, surprise I haven't had time to do much lately!
This is our back porch / play room. Thankfully, it is warm here in sunny Florida so my kids can play outside all the time!

Well, after complaining about our "view" I plugged those pics into my computer and realized that I had more pics that hadn't been downloaded yet. . .BEACH pics! Ok, so my view isn't great outside my home. . .and truthfully, there is NO horizon here so driving isn't pretty. However, a couple of weeks ago, we hopped in the car after going to early service at church and headed to a surf competition at the beach. It was also Davis' first beach trip! The pics aren't fabulous, but we did go to the beach in January. . .so, I guess no complaining!

This is Uncle Brackston, whom the kids love. He just moved to town and we're still waiting for his lovely wife (who for privacy reasons will remain nameless) to finally move down!

Thursday Night Thoughts

I'm kind of in a funk tonight. . .I haven't really known what to blog about this week. I have been dealing with some stuff in my heart and life that I don't really have answers on yet. . .still searching and still asking the Lord to reveal to me. . .nothing huge, just dealing with being different in ways. One of the things affecting me is that my heart is now torn. I have had a passion for Africa for a long time, but this is different. It is on my heart all the time. I feel so torn. . .like I know God is calling us to be involved there and I don't know how so I feel like I can't stop my heart but need to keep having God direct us. . .at the same time, I feel not as "present" here and that doesn't feel right. I know we are never supposed to feel at home here but I don't know if this is the same concept?

I also have lots of Liberian thoughts running wild in my mind, but each seem to deserve a post in and of themselves. Coming soon for your thoughts: Liberian Literacy and It's Effect on The Church . . .and. . .Paying a Fair Wage in a 3rd World Country?. . .

PS I got my book yesterday! Let's start reading "Red Letters" this weekend! I'll post about what I'm learning or thinking next week!

Christmas in Liberia (a little late)

I totally meant to post this on Christmas, but completely forgot! So, how much did you complain toting your Christmas tree back to your house on the hood of your car? We saw a couple of guys like this througout Liberia. Some even had them all the way on top of their heads! Christmas isn't quite the same since the war, but some people still try to get trees if they have the money to afford them.

A long overdue New Years Glog

Oh my, I can't believe that it is 2008!!! What an incredible holiday season and with all the "to do" that Chanumas has brought, I have neglected my responsibilities as founder and president of Glogging Incorporated. I know that it is no excuse, but due to the huge grass roots following I have developed and the tremendous amount of fan mail that I deal with on a daily basis I have been unable to find time to bless you with another addition of my always inspiring, incredibly thought provoking prose.

As we enter this new year I want thank you, my dedicated glogheads for your patience and understanding. Brandi has appreciated your readership as you faithfully check back every hour in the hope that a new glog will be waiting. All of the comments really do wonders for her self esteem. It really is sad that her self worth is tied to how many comments my gloggies leave on one of her posts.

On a personal note I want to thank you, MY Readers, for being so kind to my wonderful wife. Your comments truly are a blessing to her, even though we all know why you check back so regularly. (For those of you who are new to this "blog" I would like to encourage you to read the following GLOGS to get a true sense of what this site is all about: Greg's First Blog, A Monkey Drinking a Fanta, Rules of Glogging, and A Christmas Glog).

So here's the beef:
Resolutions are a thing of the past... a hallucinogen for the masses who cling to the glimmer of hope that things will magically change because January 1st has once again rolled around. In light of this revelation, resolve with me never to make a resolutions again! Instead, I propose making a list of "Hopefullys." There is much less guilt involved with a hopefully than a resolution. If you break it you can always say, "I was hoping to, but... things changed."

List of Hopefullys for 2008:

Hopefully, I will get around to taking the Chanumas tree down. But, if I procrastinate long enough Brandi will get so frustrated she will do it herself.

Hopefully, I will lose weight this year. Although, I have no desire to exercise or curb my eating.

Hopefully, I will get our Chanumas cards out before January 16th. I wouldn't be surprised if you receive Ground Hogs Day cards.

Hopefully, I will have less stress. However, I have three children, run my own business and have all the demands of a celebrity, thanks to glogging.

Hopefully, I will be more environmentally conscious. I should probably get a recycling bin first. (For those of you who I may have offended with this comment please submit all complaints in writing to Office of the Ombudsmen 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Washington DC...please reference "Hopefully #5).

Hopefully, I will be more willing to listen to others' ideas. However I don't often find people with ideas as well-thought out and insightful as my own.

Hopefully,I will find a productive hobby. TV seems to provide everything I could ask for though.

Hopefully, I will travel more. However, car rides with three kids are no fun and I can't even imagine flying with three kids under 4.

Hopefully, I will be less argumentative. Yes, I do. . .stop arguing with me.

After much consideration I have concluded not only do I have no need for resolutions, but I have no need for Hopefullys. Dr. Abraham Maslow (someone almost as profound as your Glogmaster) coined the term "Self-Actualization" as the pinnacle in the hierarchy of human needs. Dr. Maslow summed up the concept as:
"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be.
This is the need we may call self-actualization ... It refers to man's
desire for fulfillment, namely to the tendency for him to become
actually in what he is potentially: to become everything that one
is capable of becoming ..."
I am that self actualized individual.
So, in conclusion a preface. A musician must make music, an artist must paint, and a glogger must glog.

Most Likely,
Greg

PS After reading my list of hopefullys I welcome your open and honest feed back in the form of comments . Please note that I am not dependent on your feedback as some form of stimulant to legitimize me as a person.
(But my goal is one more comment than Brandi has ever received so keep 'em coming. Feel free to comment two or three times. I gladly welcome them all. I promise not to rub her nose in it too much).,

Who's on First ~ Toddler Style

She's pretty darn cute, huh?! My gorgeous girl! My Aunt Shannon took these pics yesterday. Greg had to work around the house on a few projects, so instead of staying home and trying to keep the kids away from him (a practically exhausting and almost impossible feat) I decided to take them over to Barry and Shannon's for the day! We had a blast again! Have I mentioned how much I love their kids? Oh yes, I guess I have!

Ok. . .here's my funny story for the week.

Gracie got a new baby doll for Christmas. While we were sitting on the couch playing with her, we had this conversation:

Me: Gracie, what's your baby's name?

Gracie: MINE

Me: Your baby's name is Mine?

Gracie: NO, MINE

Me: Oh, well (to the baby) Hello, MINE

Gracie: No MINE

At this point, Brayden comes into the room and enters the conversation.

Brayden: No, Mama, she's saying that the baby is HERS

Me: No, she said her name was MINE

Gracie: MINE

Brayden: oh, (handing the baby to Gracie) YOURS

Gracie: No, MINE

I think this is the Toddler version of "Who's on First"!

PS If you came to check out the BUSH post, keep scrolling. . . .it's the next one down!

The BUSH

I have been putting off my "bush" post for a while, I know. I'm not sure why exactly, except there just didn't seem to be words. For me it was an almost spiritual day. Like the fruition of dreams that God had planted in my heart as a child and the beginning of dreams He is currently planting. . .Words cannot truly express what I felt. It was amazing and difficult all at the same time.

Today, I am ready. I just read a post by Courtney (read it and the post she comments about)about the pain and joy of adoption. The pain of knowing that your kids hurt. It reminded me of a lesson the Lord taught me many years ago. At that time, I was running a small group bible study program for inner city kids. People would come in once a week to interact with the kids and teach them. I was there every afternoon and grew to LOVE these children. What came along with the love was incredible pain. I remember driving home one day just weeping. I had just found out that 3 of my special littles ones had been abused in every way possible. I wept and felt alone. I felt like I had no one to call b/c no one else had really grown to love them like I had. I felt alone in my pain and cried out to God. He answered. He spoke so clearly to my heart, "Why are you complaining? You should feel humbled, awed and amazed that I allowed you to feel a part of the Heart of God for these special children. Would you rather that no one hurt for them b/c it is too difficult for you?" I stopped in my tracks Oh my dear, this pain is special. This pain is nothing compared to what God feels when He sees His children in pain. . .when He sees His children causing the pain. It was then that I began to really allow myself to hurt for them.

This lesson brings me to the Bush of Liberia. I have had a couple of people comment to me that while I was in Liberia they had to stop reading my blog b/c it was just too hard. I know the feeling. With all of this knowledge of suffering, comes great hurt. . . with it, also comes responsibility and we don't always know what to do with that. It's easier to just not know. But, again, I ask you what my Daddy asked me, "Would you rather have no one hurt for them? Would you choose not to experience a little slice of the heart of the God of the Universe?"
The Bush is basically any village outside of Monrovia, the capital city of Liberia. So, Buster and Daikou picked us up and we started driving. We had stopped to pick up bags of candy and cookies and lunch for ourselves. We ended up driving about 3 hours outside of town and stopped at villages along the way. These villages were exactly what you picture Africa to be. They were mud huts with thatched roofs. They sometimes had a well, rarely a school and none had a clinic of any kind. The people were all barefoot and their clothes were tattered.
We stopped at almost every village we passed. We would get out and start to hand out candy to the children while talking to the adults about the needs of their village. We feel like, if God is calling us to be involved in Liberia, who are we to determine needs. . .we needed to really get out and ask the people what their needs were. Unanimously, the answers were the same everywhere, "Water, Education and Healthcare"

The first village we stopped at, we got a tour. These women were willing to show us their homes, their community bathroom and their dirty water. (they had a hand pump well, but it broke, so they were using the dirty creek water). I think I've posted these pics before, but I'll post them again. They are a reminder to me. Do NOT complain about your home! This woman lived in this hut with her 6 children. It was smaller than any of my rooms.
Here, Buster immediately jumped out and just started talking to this little girl. Her house is pictured below
This is the inside of that home.

This is the outside of the home of a woman and her 6 children.
Here she is with just some of her children
Their bed
Their cloudy water

Their Community Bathroom
My favorites were our last couple of village stops. These were the largest villages with probably 150 people living there (?). Buster and I began handing out candy and were immediately swarmed! There were probably 50 kids pushing and shoving to get closer to us. If you know me at all, you know my heart just swelled. I LOVED this. Funny thing is, I think Buster may have loved it as much as I did!

At the same time, Greg and Daikou took their time to gather the village "elders" (the men present) and look at this village's school house.

The kids took me to their well and showed me how it worked. We walked and played and the mamas kept shoving their babies at me to hold, kiss and play with. The kids and I played "school" with me as the teacher. I took the opportunity to teach them a Bible verse with actions. Some of these babies were so tiny. I just couldn't imagine their lives. There were a number of children who I guess have TB in their spines as they have the same hump like Isaac. Knowing what his docs have told him, I knew that these children would not live. Would not live. . .this little girl was probably 6 and I knew she wouldn't live. Not just that, but would probably ever even see a doctor. Truth be told, I could hardly look her in the eyes b/c I knew I would start sobbing right there. I just touched her. . I touched every child I could possibly get my hands on. I rubbed their faces and told them how precious they are in God's sight. I didn't want to leave! One funny story from this village was a little girl. She kept hiding behind one of the men and peeking out to see Greg. Greg started playing with her and tried to offer her candy. She would not come out, though. One of the village men laughed and said, "She's afraid b/c she's never seen a white man before!"

The last village we visited was a special stop for Buster. He had been stationed out this way as Chief of the Patrol. He grew to love the people of this particular village. It was actually an "employee village" of Firestone plantation. Yes, Firestone as in the rubber. .yes, this could be a whole post about ethics of organizations in the countries they work in but, I'll save that for another time. . .The village was not mud huts, but rather row houses that were completely delapidated. We didn't tour the inside of any (didn't think to ask b/c we were running out of time) but Buster said they are really bad. There is no school in this community and someone recently dug a well, but apparently not deep enough b/c the water was bad. I just looked at the faces of these children and thought, "you can't go to school" How ridiculous is that? Yes, school and education is a big topic here in the states, but it's WHAT school not IF school. These are the faces of children drinking dirty water. These are the faces of children with no hope of attending school.

The child who broke my heart the most, however, is not pictured. I couldn't bear to take out my camera and take shot. In fact, I wasn't even out of the care. Buster just pulled over to the side of the road to jump out and give these few kiddos some candy. This particular village was small and it must have been bathing day or something because EVERY child was naked. They all came running, though, when they heard the word candy. One cute little boy was sitting on a low wall of some sort with his mama. He was under 2 years old and naked as a jay bird. As soon as he saw Buster he got down to come over. What I saw broke my heart. As he climbed off the wall to stand up, he immediately went to his knees b/c both of his feet were clubbed. He crawled over to Buster excitedly as Buster bent down to hand this little boy candy. This little naked clubbed foot boy broke my heart and I broke down in that car. I knew he would never see a doctor. He will live his life on his knees and with the germs and diseases, his life will probably not be long.

Does it hurt? yes. Should it? I think so. Why? My pastor preached this Sunday on missions. His point? Among other reasons that God calls us to missions is one that's about us. We need it! We need the perspective. We need it to remind us and stretch us in our selfishness. Now I guess the next question I am taking to the Lord is: What do I do with this hurt? How can YOU use this passion for these people? How can I help? And, Yes Lord, I'm willing to hurt and I'm willing to help, just show me Your way.