Gloriously Ruined - Dangerous Surrender Chap 3

*I originally wrote this post on May 20th. . but then tonight (6/27) I read the 3rd chapter of Dangerous Surrender and realized. . I've already blogged this concept! The concept is "Gloriously Ruined" and oh that it is. The truth is Africa has ruined me. Her pain, poverty, her people. I'm ruined. . ruined for my life here. . ruined to enjoy "the finer things". . ruined to stop thinking of them and their sweet faces and their pain. I hurt and ache for the hurting in our world. . and yet, somewhere in the midst it is glorious. There is something AMAZING about this life change. I wouldn't go back if you paid me. While living in both worlds can be tricky (a bit of an understatement at times!). . it is glorious b/c it brings me closer to Jesus. Somehow, asking Him for His heart for the hurting. . both in Africa and throughout the world is amazing and intimate. I feel drawn close to His chest when I cry out for them. When I weep it is on His shoulder and with His tears. She described it beautifully, I am Gloriously Ruined! This song says it all. . thanks to Sara Groves who put words and music to this concept!


This song has been on my mind so much lately. . it practically haunts me. PLEASE turn your volume up and take just 3 minutes to watch this video. If you haven't been or don't really have a passion for Africa (and/or poverty stricken lands) and basically just read this to keep up with my life (family and friends). .please take the time to watch this. I feel like this video / song explains me.



The truth is: I saw what I saw and I'll never be the same. I love this video, but the truth is that my own images play in my head while listening / crying to this song.

I saw what I saw and I can't forget it. . .


I heard what I heard and I can't go back. . .


I know what I know and I can't deny it. . .



Something on the road, cut me to the soul. . .

I don't have a picture of this little man. . .the 1-2 year old boy, who upon seeing Buster get out of the car with candy, dropped off the perch he was on with his mama and crawled, naked to Buster. Crawled, not because he was too young to walk but because his feet were clubbed. Crawled the way he'll always crawl. I couldn't take a picture, I was sobbing at that point. . .

Their pain has changed me. I'll never be the same. I know it feels like I'm a downer and you may not enjoy hearing my heart or even looking in their eyes. .but, do it. There I was changed. I will never be the same. In an amazing way too. . I wouldn't change that time for the entire world. Just looking at these pictures and watching this video make me LONG to go back. . oh please, Tom, let's get this trip planned. . I have to get there soon!!


"Your Dreams Inspire"