Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Things I'm learning / pondering right now

A couple of thoughts are whirling around in my head right now. . .I usually wait until I have them a little clearer but thought that blogging might actually help me understand things better. . .

1. I've been feeling a little overwhelmed and probably not trusting these days. With the trip to Liberia and the upcoming Women's retreat hanging over my head and neither having the response I thought, I've become down about it. Just wondering what God's doing and truthfully starting to doubt that either will happen well. So today, I got to thinking about my blog friend, Charity. I remember reading her blog a couple of weeks ago. She was so tired of waiting for her girls. So sad that it was taking so long. Well, little did she know what the Lord had up his sleeve. Literally ONE WEEK later, her girls got their passports and Charity is making plans to pick them up in the beg. of September. It reminded me of a little teaching that Joyce Carnefix gave to us at our women's retreat a couple of years ago. She said that God ALWAYS answers our prayers immediately (remember, time is nothing to HIM), it just takes a while to "bump into" those answers where He has placed them perfectly. SO, I rest. I realize that it does no good to be bummed right now, b/c only God knows what He has planned for me right around the corner. I will work on placing my trust completely in whatever He chooses to do while also praying for miracles. For people to GO (both on the retreat and the Trip) and for my wild prayer (that some of you know, but I'm not posting) about the trip!

2. Denise and I were talking yesterday about our boys in Liberia. How amazing it is that we LOVE them so completely and they don't even know that we exist! They will find out about us for the first time with little albums they will receive this weekend. Yes, we have loved them before they even knew us. Isn't that so like the LORD? He loved me before I even knew He was there. Before I ever "received my album" He adored me and longed to have me in His arms. He is so amazing! Thank you Jesus for longing for and waiting for me and for loving me so much that you would put your heart at such risk knowing full well how many times I would choose me over you. I love you Lord!

3. This brings me to my 3rd little lesson . . . which is the hardest to explain. We use the adoption metaphor with the Lord all of the time. However, I have found one little fault with this. When I think about adoption, I think of a child who needs a family through no fault of his own. He was put into a difficult situation, whether born into poverty or abuse, not b/c of anything he has done. Here, the adoptive family sees the value he truly has and chooses to give him a home, a hope and a future where there was none before. Ok, the giving of a home, hope and future is exactly what the Lord does. However, we are not in need of adopting through no fault of our own. I am in need of an adoptive Father BECAUSE of who I am. Because of my sin, I have no home hope or future. Really, in the case of a little one losing his family b/c of abuse, when you look at the characters of the story. . .God is so amazing b/c not only does he go and offer that helpless child hope, but He Chooses to go to that Mom who does despicable things and offer HER hope. He goes to those who are helpless b/c of who they are and gives hope b/c of who He is! (I know this one is harder to digest and have no clue how it comes across in writing)

So, there are my thoughts for this very late evening. I am again reminded of how little I am, how Big He is and how far I have to go in Trusting and Knowing Him. But, I am thankful that He does have things waiting just around the corner for me and I can trust those plans because He Is Good!!!


Scott and Katy said...

What incredible thoughts/ lessons. Thanks so much for posting! I have to re-read again in the morning. It is an amazing picture that God loved us before we even knew of Him!
Have a blessed rest of your week!

amber said...

Ahhh... late night thoughts are the best!

Good stuff... Thanks for sharing whats on your mind.


Blu and Darbi said...

Great blog Brandi. I feel like God is wanting to grow ME and teach ME so much through this adoption, if I will just let Him. I can't even grasp all that He wants me to know and understand but I love what you said and the reminder of God's amazing love for me!!!