Overwhelmed

This morning I was feeling overwhelmed. Easily this happens. I begin to think of everything on my plate, on my to do list, on my "I want to do" list and I soon feel like I'm drowning. The tears begin to flow. The enemies lies begin to settle in. . ."you'll never get it all done", "your kids will suffer", "your house looks like crap", "you are too much", "you aren't enough" and on and on he tries to convince me. I believe him quickly. I turn inward and think of myself. I want to throw off all of my responsibilities and believe that no one has it this hard. . .no one understands. If they think my house should be cleaner, "try doing that with 3 kids in tow" I think to myself to justify it. . .how could I possibly get it all done. . .the church work, the quality time with my precious little ones, raising money for clean water, KidsLake, Uganda and the weekly things that arise. . .oh you know, friendships, getting ready for Wheel of Fortune, eating. . .

Yes, that is what made the tears flow this morning as I lay in bed wondering what to "get accomplished" today.

And then. . .God hits me in the face with a 2 x 4. Through Jody's blog. She posted this:

Furah carries wood and her eighteen-month-old daughter Shukyru, on
the road linking Rupango to Sake, eastern Congo, Wednesday Nov. 19, 2008. Furah
walks the 16 kms every day, crossing from the CNDP rebel controlled area to the
government held town of Sake to sell wood.” (AP Photo/Jerome Delay)

It crashed over me like a wave. . .my responsibilities are nothing. My lists. . .my "to do's" are nothing compared to hers. In her list, if she doesn't get it all done. . .her children die. period.

My overwhelmed heart is simply a matter of my eyes turning inward. I remember again the lesson that the Lord taught me about "For the Joy Set Before Him. . ." So, I choose this day. To allow HIM to carry my burdens. To choose to set my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of my faith. To choose to focus on the truth. Everything I on my list is a privilege. I am blessed to have the honor of raising these beautiful babies.

I am humbled and awed that God chooses to use my in amazing Church body.

I am thankful that I have the chance to have a home that I can clean

I am beyond grateful that He allows me to be a small part of what He is doing in the lives or precious ones across the globe.

And so I sit. . .in my bed, among my covers. . .and I regroup. I retrain the eyes of my heart. I refocus my heart. I confess my sin and my self focus and my belief of the enemies lies. I remember His truth. I will soak in this for a few minutes before getting up to begin my day. I pray that my day will be full of remembering these truths. How I long to go about my day with patience for my children, joy in my responsibilities and unbelievable awe that the Lord would choose to use my in any way shape or form and that above all, He desires more and more relationship with me.