Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Overwhelmed

This morning I was feeling overwhelmed. Easily this happens. I begin to think of everything on my plate, on my to do list, on my "I want to do" list and I soon feel like I'm drowning. The tears begin to flow. The enemies lies begin to settle in. . ."you'll never get it all done", "your kids will suffer", "your house looks like crap", "you are too much", "you aren't enough" and on and on he tries to convince me. I believe him quickly. I turn inward and think of myself. I want to throw off all of my responsibilities and believe that no one has it this hard. . .no one understands. If they think my house should be cleaner, "try doing that with 3 kids in tow" I think to myself to justify it. . .how could I possibly get it all done. . .the church work, the quality time with my precious little ones, raising money for clean water, KidsLake, Uganda and the weekly things that arise. . .oh you know, friendships, getting ready for Wheel of Fortune, eating. . .

Yes, that is what made the tears flow this morning as I lay in bed wondering what to "get accomplished" today.

And then. . .God hits me in the face with a 2 x 4. Through Jody's blog. She posted this:
Furah carries wood and her eighteen-month-old daughter Shukyru, on
the road linking Rupango to Sake, eastern Congo, Wednesday Nov. 19, 2008. Furah
walks the 16 kms every day, crossing from the CNDP rebel controlled area to the
government held town of Sake to sell wood.” (AP Photo/Jerome Delay)
It crashed over me like a wave. . .my responsibilities are nothing. My lists. . .my "to do's" are nothing compared to hers. In her list, if she doesn't get it all done. . .her children die. period.

My overwhelmed heart is simply a matter of my eyes turning inward. I remember again the lesson that the Lord taught me about "For the Joy Set Before Him. . ." So, I choose this day. To allow HIM to carry my burdens. To choose to set my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of my faith. To choose to focus on the truth. Everything I on my list is a privilege. I am blessed to have the honor of raising these beautiful babies.
I am humbled and awed that God chooses to use my in amazing Church body.

I am thankful that I have the chance to have a home that I can clean

I am beyond grateful that He allows me to be a small part of what He is doing in the lives or precious ones across the globe.
And so I sit. . .in my bed, among my covers. . .and I regroup. I retrain the eyes of my heart. I refocus my heart. I confess my sin and my self focus and my belief of the enemies lies. I remember His truth. I will soak in this for a few minutes before getting up to begin my day. I pray that my day will be full of remembering these truths. How I long to go about my day with patience for my children, joy in my responsibilities and unbelievable awe that the Lord would choose to use my in any way shape or form and that above all, He desires more and more relationship with me.


12 comments:

sheryl said...

Very inspiring Brandi. I think we all get that way this time of year at some point. We do need to remember we are all so blessed and my heart goes out to all those children who are not. You are so talented and God has given you such a heart for children. Remember the housework will be around but the children grow up. Love ya.

Kelly said...

Welcome to the majority of us moms!! My motto: "I will NOT be defined by the condition of my house/yard/car, but by the condition of my heart and relationships!!" You have a passion that God gave you-- he will equip you!! Love ya,

Dearest Jessica said...

Next week this will all be history,enjoy it while you can. All the things a\on your plate are the blessings he has given you.

The Bayou Belles and Their Beau said...

Thanks for puttin' things in perspective like you always do.

steffany said...

I really think you pinpointed the struggle in all of us. Whenever I'm feeling defeated or overwhelmed it always comes down to having my eyes on myself.

Art Teacher said...

Thank you Miss Brandi! :)

Jen said...

Hey sweet friend, just reading these words makes me miss you and your precious heart. I love how quickly you were able to re-evaluate and have clarity.

By the way, we are driving to Fl. on Sat. the 20th. I think I will be coming to Orlando either Sun. or Mon. I would love to see you and all the other girls!! As soon as I know my plans I'll let you know. :)

Love you!! Jen

Erica said...

I needed this today Brandi. Thank you for this reminder. The reminder to SQUISH the enemies lies, to persevere and to move forward to show others our loving Jesus. Praying for you friend. Love your beautiful heart.

Anonymous said...

Ohhhh - one of the many reason that I love you. Thank you so much for your vulnerability. Even you, super woman, has her moments...without them wouldn't it be tempting not to really NEED God. In the struggle He draws you closer to His heart. Thanks for sharing the the insight that He gave you.
Love you - Renae

Flamingo Mama said...

oh i so neeeded to hear those words today! i have been feeling very overwhelmed!

thank you for the reminder.

however it's also awesome to knwo that others struggle with this too!

Brittani said...

thanks for sharing this Brandi. I needed to hear that today... God has blessed us with so many wonderful things. With blessings come responsibilities and we will choose to do them with a fully grateful heart. I appreciate that VOICE OF TRUTH today. It is hard to choose to listen to that voice over the enemies lies... But when I listen to the truth, my heart is at peace. Thank You

Anonymous said...

What a way to put it Brandi! I can so relate to you hearing what the enemy wants you to hear!! Thanks for the reminder of how blessed I am! I love you and your heart and how quickly you come to the truth! Love, Christie

P.S. I think we are WAY overdue for a Glog...I think a couple of holidays have passed with NO Glog. I thought that was going to be the new Glog schedule...holidays! :)