Thursday, February 19, 2009

How Dense Am I?

Didn't I just write out 2 days ago,

"Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far ouweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)."

Yeah, well. . . .I should have gotten right on actually MEMORIZING that verse. God had to slap me in the face with it this morning as I got into the shower in a rotten mood begging him to change my heart.

You see, yesterday afternoon kinda sucked. I spent 3 hours washing my wood floors by hand, which just makes you hurt. . .and by the way, my floors don't even look all that great now!

Then, as I was getting ready to leave for church my mom called. They have graciously offered me their points for my trip to Uganda. She called to say that Delta wasn't allowing her to transfer points for free!! In fact, although the
Delta worker SPECIFICALLY told me (and I asked twice for confirmation) that there would be no charge it was going to cost $.01 per mile. Doesn't seem like much, except when you need 80,000 points per ticket!!! That sent me into a tizzy. I called and talked to 2 different Delta employees who both basically said, "well, we are sorry
our employee gave you wrong information but there is nothing we can do" I was crushed. I actually cried while on the phone with Delta! This basically means that if we were transferring ALL of the points needed for one pastor, it would cost us over $1,000 instead of the $115 in taxes that we were thinking. I was sent into a spiral of despair. **Those those of you considering donating points, we did figure that if someone had enough that they were thinking of donating a whole flight, it wouldn't cost us anything extra! Also, if we were just transferring between 2 accounts, where one person had a large amount, then the transfer fee wouldn't be killer (meaning if someone had 50,000 points, so we only had to transfer 30,000, that would bring the $1500 flight down to $400) oh yeah, and AMEX points can still be transferred for free, I think.

THEN, Davis woke up in the middle of the night. After comforting him, I came back to a text from Katie B which stirred me all up to be thinking about Uganda and Rapha for a full hour before falling back asleep.


Do you see the scales tipping in my mind's eye?


This was followed up by an emerging headache that was starting. . . .

6:15 both boys awake. Davis had peed through his diaper and clothes.
I put on a movie and went to get back in bed.
I stepped in pee. Apparently, the dog can't wait.

Yes. . . I was in a BAD mood. When I looked at the scales I found them to be tipping on the side of TROUBLES.
What my Jesus graciously pointed out is that I fail to look a the other side of the scale. I imagine it empty. In reality, it is full of Him. Full of His promises to work all things for good. Full of His promises that the troubles are momentary and allowed for specific purposes. And I saw empty. That makes my heart sad. I am sure that it saddened the heart of my Lord when I didn't see Him. I'm thankful that He revealed His truth to me. . .my attitude is changed. . .scratch that, changing This may be a work in progress this morning. The dog has peed again. The other dog destroyed a roll of toilet paper in the boys room that I have yet to clean up and the littles are potty training. Let me say it again,

"Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

8 comments:

Betsy said...

Oh Sweet Brandi! God is good all the time and He constantly keeps us on our knees! Praying for you!

Love ya-

Greg said...

Hey change you text color...hard to read

Vanessa said...

Brandi, Continue to have faith because the Lord will provide for the trips!! He always seems to provide for us even when we forget He does!! Thank goodness He's a forgiving God!! I know many days I have woke up disappointed about something going on with the work I do in GUA and He always sends word like yours to remind me!! HUGS!!

Dearest Jessica said...

If things were easy we wouldn't need Jesus. I love how God allows things to look impossible so people will have no doubt that the miracles and gifts are from HIM.

Remember he is teaching you and no matter how much you think you "got" he could also be using your situation to teach others.

Clean up the pee,memorize the verse and Let Him do his work.

jena said...

It will be all that more miraculous to see how God provides! Hope that makes sense, it's past my bedtime.

Valarie Daly said...

If that's what it takes to praise you, Jesus bring the rain! Mercy Me. I love that song and want more than anything to be able to praise HIM and need HIM daily, not just when it rains! But it seems when life is going good, I tend to put Jesus on a shelf until it rains. I want so deeply to bring Jesus in my every day, every thought, every moment...but fail to only draw close to HIM in my time of need! (We still need to get together)

Jman's momma said...

Did your husband just take from this post that you need to change your font color? That really makes me laugh - I hope it does you too. I am actually tearing up laughing about it!

You know the mileage was "our" plan, so maybe it is just not His. Nevermind - you know that ;)

talk to you later today...

auntie katie said...

i love this, because so goes my day... thank you JESUS that you are on the other side of the scale, and thank you that even when the troubles of the world have us deluded enough to think you are not there, YOU STILL ARE. and potty training is the worst, huh? loved your most recent comment... i can just see you teaching a bunch of little kids "you deserve death" hey, its the truth sister, preach it.

i cant wait to see you! kiss those slobbery, gum loving, potty training sweethearts of yours for me! love you :)