Holidays are for Gloggers!!!

**sidenote: this is not a blog by Brandi. It's a Glog by Greg. If you haven't read a glog before, click HERE for a link to all of the past glogs. enjoy =)

Happy Labor Day Gloggies... I hope that today has been restful, wonderful and blessed time with loved ones.
I am back and I know that many of you have been demanding (almost daily) that I enlighten you in the manner in which you have become accustom, and I know that It has been a long time since I have blessed you with one of my incredible and thought provoking glogs so here goes.
First off there is a new format to manage the expectations of you Glogheads...after much discussion and many rewrites to the master plan (please see sub section: Increase Brandi's readership in your glog handbooks), I have decided, in conjunction with my board to make holidays the days that I will wax eloquent. So plan on it!!! Mark your calenders now, if your holiday plans include travel... plan ahead. Make sure you have internet access, or else you will regret it. I promise you that since I am planning ahead they are going to be good. Please note that an official list of holidays is currently unavailable as we (the board) are trying to determine if we will include only Judeo-Christian holidays (including Chanumas) or if we want to reach out to our muslim brothers and include their holidays as well,. For you readers in the great white north please note that Canadian boxing day is in the running as well.
I have so many things that have been running through my head...so many things that I know you would love to hear about which makes it difficult to know where to begin. First off lets start with the Yankees. I am very disheartened, they look lousy!!!! That is really all I have to say about that. I am not sure that I can continue without crying...DON'T JUDGE ME!!!
For all of you Dumptruck fans out there, I have to tell you that he is walking a thin line, Brandi has just about had it with him. I don't want to rat him out or anything but he did back up and poop on her leg today. Brandi doesn't know it but I taught him that trick. It was beautiful!!! But anyway she is really ticked at him. For those of you who love Dumptruck now is the time to let your voice's be heard. Brandi has threatened to get rid of the dog. I am not sure how we would live without him. I have become so accustomed to his snoring, I think of it as a nasaled lullaby, and how will we live without his flatulence. Lets just say it has gotten worse, I think the closest comparison would be hot garbage. But I digress, if you love Dumptruck and want to continue to hear updates on him you need to let Brandi know...shout it from the rooftops. Gloggies for Dumptruck!!!
I am currently working on a book called "Where do You Get Off?' Please note that unlike my glogs this book will not be politically correct. I am addressing all of the questions that I want to ask our political leaders, the uniformed masses, and people who feel the need to share their opinions via anonymous comments. Some of the topics currently being drafted include: The State of Florida's law prohibiting smoking in any establishment that serves food. I think this is probably the most unconstitutional piece of legislation ever written. Before you jump down my throat hear me out. I hate smoke while I eat. I think that it is probably the most nauseating combination out there, that is why I choose not to eat in establishments that allow smoking. But allow me to argue the other side, as a small business owner I take great issue with the fact that our government has imposed it's controls on other small businesses. Why should the restaurant owner be prohibited from allowing smoking in his (or her) establishment on his (or her) private property. I hear you, it's gross, I don't want to smell it while I eat, it causes cancer...you are 100% right, but it is the decision of the owner not the government. If you don't like it take your business else where.
I told you it wasn't going to be politically correct...as always if I have offended you please address your concerns to the Office of the Ombudsmen, 1900 Pennsylvania Ave. Washington D.C.
Other topics currently being outlined include: Where do "Pacifists" get off bringing weapons to anti-war protests?, Where to crowds get off doing the wave at sporting events (people are sheep and will follow anyone), and Where do I get off assuming you want to read this.
I would love to hear any thoughts you would like me include in my book. Please phrase your answers in the form of a question... Where do you get off--
Side note while I write this Dumptruck has just blessed us with a treat (it is very bad).
I want to put in a plug for the iPhone. Please note that I have coveted Brandi's iPhone for quite some time now, but I held out for version 2 and it was worth the wait. I am addicted and can often be found reading email, scanning foxnews, or playing solitaire all while sitting in the bathroom, or while "supervising the children." Please note that I am not allowed to refer to it as babysitting. As I have been told I don't babysit my own children I watch them and play with them, sounds like babysitting to me.
So as always in conclusion a preface. . .74% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Most Likely,
Greg

GLOG TAG

*Note: if you are a new reader, you may want to check here, here, here and here or here or even here for past "Glog"s written by my husband who takes over my blog for a short period!

After a long hiatus I'M BACK!!!

I have heard the call from all my gloggies and though I have walked through the wilderness, fear not because I have returned with a vengeance. I have so much that I want to share with you and so little time. A few quick updates...

#1. Dumptruck is doing great. Currently he is snoring on the couch next to me. I couldn't be prouder... I have dog that snores louder than I do and at any given moment can pass gas that could wilt the heartiest of oak trees.
#B. Brandi has made great strides in her phone addiction she is down to 2999 minutes per month and only 6 hours a day on the computer.
#6. I have never been "Tagged" (thanks a lot, Brandi!) therefore I am tagging myself prepare to be amazed as you get a glimpse into the inner workings of the mind of your fearless glog leader.

I am: probably the smartest most articulate man I know.

I think: you already knew that.

I know: that when you get old you start to show signs of aging but as I tell Brandi everyday when I look in the mirror "It happened again" Brandi's response "What happened?" "I got better looking overnight."

I want: to know that I am loved, but even more than that, I want you to know that I am loved.

I hate: big egos.

I miss: my childhood pooch Bucky...he was taken to the farm if you know what I mean. It
wasn't until a few years ago that I put two and two together.

I fear: snakes and birds...mainly birds though. When I was a kid I was viciously attacked by a cockatil, yes I know it weighs like 10 ounces but it tried to peck my eye out. Later flew into the ceiling and died...that was a good day.

I feel: so many emotions I have trouble verbalizing them all but know that I am working through them and I am committed to knowing myself and making myself a truly self actualized individual.

I hear: Laos is nice but I probably never go there. (Matt Lauer was there this week on the Today show).

I smell: Dumptruck, lets just say it isn't pleasant

I crave: soft serve ice cream (not frozen yogurt). I once got to meet the grandson of the inventor of the soft serve ice cream machine (FYI he was a very large man). Another little known fact, Brandi and I know the son of the guy who invented spaghetti o's. He hates them.

I search: my bedroom often for my missing remote. Last time it went missing I found it in a baby carriage on the back porch. weird, huh?

I regret: NOTHING!!!

I love: all of my loyal gloggies, without whom I would have to wallow in anonymity for the remainder of my life.

I ache: after exercising...(Oh yeah I meant to share that with you I am working on my hopefullys)

I care: too much!!! Does that make me a bad person?

I always: need to use spell check. I have become so dependant on it that I fear writing hand written notes.

I am not: Superman, although I do bear a striking resemblance to Clark Kent.

I believe: I can I fly, I believe I can touch the sky. I think about it every night and day, spread my wings and fly away. I believe I can soar...

I sing: horribly, however I have the uncanny ability to remember lyrics and Brandi can testify that I could win either The Singing Bee or Remember the Lyrics.

I cry: when fatherly moments are on TV. It makes me think of my kids and that does not make me less of a man.

I fight: the urge to tell people off...sometimes I lose.

I write: the songs that make the whole world sing.

I win: most of the time, except when I lose.

I lose: rarely, except when Brandi and I play cards...she always beats me, but I am pretty sure she cheats.

I never: say never...just something to think about.

I listen: to Telemundo thinking that I will eventually understand what they are talking about. Spanish people speak really fast.

I can usually be found: when playing hide and seek...I'm huge (6'5" and 275lbs).

I am scared: of the things that I fear (see above, this is repetitive and redundant).

I need: a stiff drink (a mountain dew) you didn't think I meant alcohol...Christians never touch the stuff.

I am happy about: the fact that it is baseball season and the Yankees are back on!

I hope: that when you read this it will add a ray of light to your bleak and dreary existence.

So having said this in conclusion a preface If you believe that you are always right you will convince yourself that you are.

Most likely,
Greg
PS: Since blogging etiquitte required that I tag somone after me. . I am in great debate over whether or not to add that to the glogging etiquette as well. But, since I have no time for a great long list of pros and cons that is necessary to determine what will enter the great halls of glogging law, I will simply choose to tag: Scott White and "The Spleen"

Glogging on HEAVY Meds

*Note: This was written on Friday night on HEAVY meds! Yes, he is just this sarcastic and no, I'm not offended!

Today was a hellish day. As a thirty year old man I did something today that most of you did when you were in high school or college...I had my wisdom teeth removed. . AND, they were all impacted! I will share with you that I have been putting this off for over ten years. I have had several dentists tell me that they need to be removed, but I believe dentists are glorified salesmen. Dentists are in business to do more oral procedures so I truly believe that they try to upsell us, the unwitting consumer, and therefore I never moved on it. Besides the fact that I thought I was being scammed, I had no other real reason for the delay, other than I guess, I don't like pain. But two weeks ago when I was eating a wonderful sandwhich from TooJays (the triple j) I felt a shooting pain in the back of the right side of my mouth. To my dismay I quickly realized that not only had my impacted wisdom tooth finally broken through, but there was a significant crack down the middle of it. So at seven am this morning my mommy (yes that's right I said mommy, I think its allowed when you are in pain or having surgery to revert to a childlike state), took me to the oral surgeon. (Note: he is talking about his actual mother. We both think it's a bit creepy to refer to your spouse as mommy or daddy!) Two hours later I left the Dr's office with lips like Julia Roberts and cheeks like a chipmunk. So here I am on a wonderful pain medicine called darvaset, glogging for you my wonderful and caring fan base. (Please feel free to send gifts, cards and well wishes to my personal assistant Brandi at brandim@westwoodchurch.com).
So many things have happened since I last mused, Brandi had a birthday, Jon and Renae came to town, I had my wisdom teeth out and most important Dumptruck got his anal glands cleaned. (If you have a dog that needs to have this done you know what I mean).
The focus of this heavily medicated glog will be a tribute to my wife:
Brandi is a wonderful wife, fantastic mother, and one hot piece of tail but having said that I would like to focus on the things that she is not. (I am going to blame the drugs for this section, I am not sure why I would proceed with this undertaking, but oh well).
-She is not a fantastic cook...my wife was born with a cell phone in her hand and the best use that I can see for this phone is to order us some dinner.
-She is not a vocalist, please understand that when she sings it is passionate and heartfelt worship of our Lord and Savior but it is a good thing that God judges the heart and not the sound because she would be in trouble.
-She is not a great driver, she most likely is an excellent driver, however as I previously mentioned she was born with a cell phone in her had and thus she is a distracted driver. Please note that I am not exaggerating with regard to her affinity for cell phones. Brandi averages 3000+ minutes per month which does not include the time that she spends on our home phone or time spent communicating via email and blogs. (How does anyone have that much to say?)
Having written the first three I have come to realize that many of you might be thinking that this sounds mean...well sometimes the truth hurts. No really the things that I have mentioned above are ongoing jokes that Brandi and I share they are not meant to be mean spirited rather as some of you may have come to realize as you have read my previous glogs...sarcastic.
My wife is a wonderful person full of grace and joy. Brandi is a fantastic wife and mother, a great friend and a terrific help mate. I married way, way up even though she is 5'2" and I am 6'5".
I wanted to share some additional thoughts with you that I have been pondering since my last glog:
1. When am I going to start my own personal glog? The answer is very soon. I would like to take this opportunity to request that you my faithful gloggies submit your ideas for a title to my glog. Please post the potential monikers as comments. I am eager to get started but I need your input. I am likely to disregard all of the suggestions but perhaps you might make the cut.
2. In addition to title suggestions I want to hear from you, give me some topics that you would like me to inform you on. Please understand that I am willing to research and sling ink on virtually all topics but let me warn you in advance of a few that I refuse to tackle:
-Inhumane treatment of iguanas in Ecuador
-Mononucleosis
-The effect of disinfectant on strands of Influenza A virus subtype H5N1
-Campaign finance reform
-Chicken and Dumplings
Thank you for your faithful readership keep checking back and soon and very soon there will be a glog site
And so as always, in conclusion a preface:
There is nothing worth doing that doesn't require some forethought...
Most likely,
Greg

A long overdue New Years Glog

Oh my, I can't believe that it is 2008!!! What an incredible holiday season and with all the "to do" that Chanumas has brought, I have neglected my responsibilities as founder and president of Glogging Incorporated. I know that it is no excuse, but due to the huge grass roots following I have developed and the tremendous amount of fan mail that I deal with on a daily basis I have been unable to find time to bless you with another addition of my always inspiring, incredibly thought provoking prose.

As we enter this new year I want thank you, my dedicated glogheads for your patience and understanding. Brandi has appreciated your readership as you faithfully check back every hour in the hope that a new glog will be waiting. All of the comments really do wonders for her self esteem. It really is sad that her self worth is tied to how many comments my gloggies leave on one of her posts.

On a personal note I want to thank you, MY Readers, for being so kind to my wonderful wife. Your comments truly are a blessing to her, even though we all know why you check back so regularly. (For those of you who are new to this "blog" I would like to encourage you to read the following GLOGS to get a true sense of what this site is all about: Greg's First Blog, A Monkey Drinking a Fanta, Rules of Glogging, and A Christmas Glog).

So here's the beef:
Resolutions are a thing of the past... a hallucinogen for the masses who cling to the glimmer of hope that things will magically change because January 1st has once again rolled around. In light of this revelation, resolve with me never to make a resolutions again! Instead, I propose making a list of "Hopefullys." There is much less guilt involved with a hopefully than a resolution. If you break it you can always say, "I was hoping to, but... things changed."

List of Hopefullys for 2008:

Hopefully, I will get around to taking the Chanumas tree down. But, if I procrastinate long enough Brandi will get so frustrated she will do it herself.

Hopefully, I will lose weight this year. Although, I have no desire to exercise or curb my eating.

Hopefully, I will get our Chanumas cards out before January 16th. I wouldn't be surprised if you receive Ground Hogs Day cards.

Hopefully, I will have less stress. However, I have three children, run my own business and have all the demands of a celebrity, thanks to glogging.

Hopefully, I will be more environmentally conscious. I should probably get a recycling bin first. (For those of you who I may have offended with this comment please submit all complaints in writing to Office of the Ombudsmen 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Washington DC...please reference "Hopefully #5).

Hopefully, I will be more willing to listen to others' ideas. However I don't often find people with ideas as well-thought out and insightful as my own.

Hopefully,I will find a productive hobby. TV seems to provide everything I could ask for though.

Hopefully, I will travel more. However, car rides with three kids are no fun and I can't even imagine flying with three kids under 4.

Hopefully, I will be less argumentative. Yes, I do. . .stop arguing with me.

After much consideration I have concluded not only do I have no need for resolutions, but I have no need for Hopefullys. Dr. Abraham Maslow (someone almost as profound as your Glogmaster) coined the term "Self-Actualization" as the pinnacle in the hierarchy of human needs. Dr. Maslow summed up the concept as:
"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be.
This is the need we may call self-actualization ... It refers to man's
desire for fulfillment, namely to the tendency for him to become
actually in what he is potentially: to become everything that one
is capable of becoming ..."
I am that self actualized individual.
So, in conclusion a preface. A musician must make music, an artist must paint, and a glogger must glog.

Most Likely,
Greg

PS After reading my list of hopefullys I welcome your open and honest feed back in the form of comments . Please note that I am not dependent on your feedback as some form of stimulant to legitimize me as a person.
(But my goal is one more comment than Brandi has ever received so keep 'em coming. Feel free to comment two or three times. I gladly welcome them all. I promise not to rub her nose in it too much).,

A Christmas Glog

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good glog!!!
There are many things to be thankful for as we approach this most joyous time of year. I have prepared a list of the top ten reasons I am thankful this Christmas season. Prepare to be amazed as you forge through into the wild yule yonder.
However I would like to offer this short word of caution as you read this most magical and magnificent list.

Warning: Do not operate heavy machinery while reading this glog as you may crash into an overpass and start a fire that will burn out of control! Do not attempt to read this glog while under the influence of alcohol (We all know that Christians never touch the stuff, but for those of you who may not be Christian, I want to be sure that you are forewarned) you may miss some of the "subtle" humor and the 8.5 minutes spent reading it would be a complete waste. . . and well that is 8.5 minutes that you will never get back. And finally, be sure not to read this in a public place as your uncontrollable laughter may hinder those trying to observe this most joyous of seasons.

10. I am thankful that I have made it 30 years and have yet to be eaten and/or scourged by a bear (black, brown, or polar... notice that I failed to mention panda which is a story for another day).
9. I am thankful that the Japanese had the forethought to invent sushi. I mean, they are truly culinary masters. Who would have thought it? Eight pieces of raw fish (total weight 1.1 ounce) for $11.95. They are brilliant and we are suckers. No wonder the dollar is so weak!! (FYI Brandi is out getting us some right now).
8. I am thankful for the word sucker. It is a great word that can have so many wonderful meanings. For example, your best friends just treated you to an evening of dinner and dancing and at the end of the evening, you could use the traditional approach of graciously thanking them in the widely accepted manor, i.e. "Thank you for a wonderful evening, it has been a pleasure to dine and dance with you." Or, you could try this... "Thank you for a wonderful evening ,it has been a pleasure to dine and dance with you ...SUCKERS." It completely changes the meaning and makes the statement much funnier. I recommend you try incorporating this word into your everyday life, I promise you won't be disappointed.
7. I am thankful for mistletoe. Without such a wonderful and useful berry I am likely not to get any action this season. (We have three kids under 4!!!) Warning to those of you whom I may see at holiday parties (still waiting for the invites btw) please note that I am not above kissing anyone standing under the aforementioned mistletoe.

6. I am thankful for the movie "A Christmas Story" and to TBS who blesses us every December 24th/25th with an all day marathon of this holiday classic. Where would we be without little Ralphie Parker and his pursuit of the official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model BB rifle with a compass in the stock. This is my favorite Christmas movie and I am likely to watch it 4-5 times on Christmas Eve/Day. Please note that this is not an endorsement for the use of guns among children. That type of personal expression of opinion should be saved for a more appropriate forum such as one's personal blog.
5. I am thankful for eggnog. What a wonderfully mysterious beverage. Does anyone know for sure what eggnog is made out of? I have done some personal research and found the chemical make up of eggnog is as follows: 2 parts egg, 3 parts nog, 100 parts delicious.
4. I am thankful for Menorah's, Dreidels, and Chanukah in general. I have officially adopted the Jewish holiday which means that I can make the holidays last from December 4th through New Years. I am going to push for the entire month of December to be called Chanumas and everyone can go on vacation beginning Dec. 4th. That sounds like a Judeo-Christian holiday that I can get behind.
3. I am thankful for my mom's Christmas cookies...they are good. Brandi's are not so good, but Brandi is the big winner as she gets me forever. Sorry mom (but please don't stop making the cookies..I will always love you).
2. I am thankful for my adoring glog fans and all of their wonderful comments. Brandi is still amazed that I topped 39 comments on one blog. But most of all I am thankful for the thought provoking and always insightful comments of anonymous, without whom glogging would be a mere shell of what it has become.
1. I am thankful for attachment parenting techniques (which I still don't completely agree with due to my claustrophobia) that have given me the wonderful opportunity to parent our 50+ pound, English Bulldog, Dumptruck in new and exciting ways. We have really grown closer as you can see. He loves our attachment sessions and often falls asleep in my arms. FYI the dog snores louder than I do.

So as always, in conclusion a preface, From our family to yours We Wish a Merry Chanumas, a Merry Christmas, a Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanza, Blessed Aplastic Anemia Week, Happy Hand Washing Awareness week, Merry Coats for Kids Day, Warm Aids Awareness Day, Nutritious Eat a Red Apple Day, Wonderful Rosa Parks Day, Memorable International Day of Disabled Persons, Productive Volunteer Day, Happy St. Nicholas Day, A Skytopping Civil Aviation Day, Honored Pearl Harbor Day, An Educational International Children's Day of Broadcasting, A Hand slapping Grand Ole Opry Day, Happy Human Rights Day, A Unique Bonza Bottlers Day, A Fulfilling Feast of our Lady of Guadalupe Day, A Beautiful Poinsettia Day, A Delicious Ice Cream and Violins Day, A Happy St. Lucy Day, A Respectful Bill of Rights Day, A Wonderful New Jersey Admission Day, A Forgetful Forefathers Day, A Seafaring Maritime Day, Wonderful Winter Solstice, Merry Christmas Eve, Delectable Eggnog Day, Happy Canadian Boxing Day, Happy New Year's Eve (all actual December Holidays), And if I have offended you by being so bold as to exclude Happy Louis Pasteur Day; well than I guess you will just have to learn to deal with it, because I refuse to drink anything that is pasteurized.
Most Likely,
Greg

Rules of Glogging

What can I say, the response has been overwhelming. Everything from the demand for glog t-shirts to Brandi stepping down as host of this blog. My intent never has been nor will it ever be to overthrow the current regime in some fourteenth century style coup de tat. Rather I am here to make love not war, so in response to those who would like me to post more frequently... here is what I can promise you, patience is a virtue and distance makes the heart grow fonder. Hang in there, check back at least hourly and if you are truly lucky there may be a glog waiting for you.
For today I wanted to further explain the art form that is glogging. There are some basic rules (179 to be exact) that need to be adhered to if you would like to join the ranks of the gloggers. I will expound upon those that are the most crucial and for a complete list of rules and contracts in triplicate please send three easy payments of $19.99 to me at Glog Master Orlando, FL (much like the IRS all you need to say is Glog Master and it will get there).
Rules:
#34. All glog petioners must submit postings for review to a panel of licensed glog members for a period of thirteen years.
#45. The glog board is made up of those whom I deem to be appropriate to hold me accountable for the quality, sincerity and fiscal responsibility of all posts (current members include Jane my housekeeper, Joe my lawn guy, Sajesh the convienent store clerk, Warren my drycleaner, my international advisor Gregory C. and Jon my best friend). The board members have been specifically chosen for their skills and understanding of all things related to glogging. Believe you me, if they weren't the right people for the job they wouldn't be on my board.
#18. Sarcasm is not appropriate. Any use of this form of "humor" is expressely forbidden and will result in you being excumincated from the ranks of glogging and will result in a $100,018 fine and life in prision.
#78. All glogs must contain a list of some sort, without said list the glog will not qualify for review and the $63 submission fee will not be refunded.
#67. Glogging Inc. is a currently listed as a not for profit organization under section 501 C-3 of the Internal Revenue System code. However, the financial records of this organization are kept on my Commador 864 computer and therefore are only accessible to myself and my board. If you would like a copy of the company financials please feel free to request this writing to Office of the Comptroler 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington DC . Please include a check made payable to the organization for $109.68 (the toner cartridges for my dot matrix printer are expensive and difficult to find).
#123. Every other glog must contain a picture of a animal doing something funny. ie. A monkey drinking an orange soda.
#2. It better be funny.
#68. Do not avoid the tough subjects, don't be afraid to be controversial. People appreciate your candor and will respect you for your honesty.
#179. Don't try to take over my glog or I will hunt you down.
Glogs are a wonderful tool and can bring joy and light into a dreary and dull world. Remember if you take yourself too seriously you are likely to develop and ulcer and die.

Thanks for your time and check back soon (at least hourly).
Most Likely,
Greg

A Monkey Drinking a Fanta....

As a result of the overwhelming response to my first blog or web log (for those of you who are new to the blogging game) I had decided to retire from blogging, a wise man once said "Leave on a high note." (George Costanza, Seinfeld). But after much debate, mainly with myself, I have decided to bless you all with another addition of my prose. However to be true to myself and to the faithful following that I have developed I will now enter the next echelon of blogging called glogging (greg log).
It has been an interesting week here in Liberia, one filled with joy, frustration, drama, and carbon monoxide.

Allow me to elaborate if I may.

• Joy:
  We have a new son, Henry Davis (aka Davis, aka Gregory Davis, aka G. Davis ). He is a beautiful, bright eyed little boy who has no clue who these white people are or what a TV is. He will learn to love both very quickly. I can already tell that he is my son. This morning, much like Brayden, he was up at 6:00 (he wakes me up when he has to go to the bathroom, also like Brayden). He had filled his diaper with some of yesterdays wonderful rice and it was a pungent aroma at 6:00 am. But, I digress...so, as I do for Brayden every morning I turned on the TV in an effort to eek out 15 minutes more sleep. Praise God from who all blessings flow, the boy loved it!!! He sat there for 1.5 hours and watched three kids shows (Barney, Hi 5, and some show from Ireland called Postman Tom which I believe is their equivalent to Bob the Builder).
• Frustration:
  1. I miss anonymous!!! Without the comments of those who so bravely posted under the guise of "anonymous" I have lacked fodder which makes this process of sarcasm much more challenging. I need controversy, so if you are out there anonymous please come back I am sooooo sorry. I miss you!!
  B. As I mentioned in my last glog entry it is really hot here. I'll tell you what by the end of the day I have sweat through two shirts and smell much like the Liberians who on the whole don't wear deodorant. This is not a statement of prejudice, rather a statement of fact, in my conversations with the friends we have made here I posed the question as to why deodorant is such a low priority. The answer was simple, food is more important. I can't argue with that.
  Anyway, Davis and I have really bonded and that is great but for those of you who know me there are a few things that complicate the attachment process:
  I. I hate to be hot
  C. I love Air Conditioning
  III. I have issues with personal space, meaning don't come into mine
  H. I am claustrophobic
  13. The car that we rented doesn't have a/c and it is small
  Therefore with these factors in mind I spent the previous 3 days with God truly challenging me. I hate to be hot, I am claustrophobic, and I don't like to be touched...and Davis won't go to Brandi!!! It is literally like holding a hot water bottle while standing by a roaring fire. I can't wait till we have to use car seats.
• Drama:
  Why is that yahoo groups and blogs (nots glogs) have become a forum for drama...whatever happened to picking up the phone and gossipping. Whatever happened to freedom of speech, why do we have to comment on what other people say in forums such as these or limit the questions that people are allowed to ask? Even as I write this my freedom of speech and right to bear arms are being limited...the speech is because Brandi is concerned what people will say on the yahoo groups and what people will post as comments on this fine glog. The right to bear arms is being limited by the Liberian government because it is illegal to carry a gun here. Not much I can do about either.
• Carbon Monoxide:
  I have developed a case of carbon monoxide poisoning while here in Liberia. Self diagnosed of course, or maybe I have black lung... not really sure but the cars here stink. The traffic is terrible and the emmission control is not a high priority, so these factors combined with my current case of bronchitis make breathing difficult. Where is the EPA or the tree huggers when you need them. I'm not sure, I haven't ever had a need for them before.
• So in conclusion a preface...I like the joy, I live for the drama, and I could do without the frustration and black lung.
• 
  Most Likely,
  Greg

PS. I made no mention of the monkey drinking a Fanta because what else needs to be said, it's a chimpanzee drinking orange soda, how can it get any cooler than that.

Greg's First Blog (don't blame Brandi)

This is Greg... I am the much better looking, more intelligent half of Brandi and Greg. No really it's true. Stop laughing....I'm serious.
If that were true, Brandi would be in trouble.
This is my inaugural blog entry and I am not sure if there is a format to follow. I don't fully understand blog etiquette (nor do I really care to) and I have never been one to worry about what other people think. So in light of that, I am going to jot down some of thoughts and allow you the opportunity to sort it out.
Enjoy the most captivating, inspiring piece of literature you are likely to read........ possibly ever.
1. This is quite an experience. I have been to several third world countries and have seen things that I thought at the time were difficult, however the need here is much greater than anything I have ever seen before. It truly makes you thankful for the incredible blessings that we have, and also makes you feel guilty for the excess in our lives.
A. Why does 90 degrees and 100% humidity seem hotter and sticky here than it does at home in FL? Oh wait its because I never go out side.
I. Why would someone post such a "bold" criticism of my wife and I on Brandi's personal blog, and then have the audacity to be so cowardly as to post it anonymously. If you have a problem with us, please feel free to contact me via Brandi's email. I would be glad to provide whatever information you would like to know. Also please understand that you do not know Brandi. You do not understand where we are coming from. You may think that you do because you read her thoughts and feelings, she allows you to experience her passion, but you do not know her. If I have offended you please feel free to stop reading this post and don't bother checking Brandi's blog again it will likely offend you in the future and I'm not sure that I could sleep at night knowing that possibility exists.
4. For those of you who were not offended by the previous comment and have decided to continue reading thank you for you patience while I aired my frustration.
B. Cars in Liberia have it rough. Not only are they extremely expensive ($4,000 for a used car with 200,000 miles on it), but the "roads" are more like potholes surrounded by a small amount of concrete. They must have to replace the shocks at least once a month because there is no way to avoid the potholes you have a better chance of avoiding the road itself.
II. I am excited to meet Henry Davis. I can not wait until we have the chance to introduce him to his brother and sister. What an incredible blessing to be able to provide that home, hope and a future that Brandi so eloquently expressed in one of her first blog entries...I am to lazy to look up which one so lets just say one of the first.
7. Have you ever noticed how when people make lists they often confuse the order ie. 1, b, 3 etc. I can't stand that.
C. The food here in Liberia is very good although I haven't experienced authentic Liberian cuisine yet. Our driver Lewis is going to take us to the best local restaurant in town so that we can "Truly get the flavor" (his words). I will let you know how it goes... those of you who know me are aware that I have a weak stomach. It'll be interesting.
III. I think I am about done blogging for today. This was a great first entry, it has everything that you could ask for, the emotional side, the controversial, the factual and best of all the truth, so help me God.
*. Little known fact about Liberia Celine Dion is on everywhere in Africa.
For those of you who will see my kids in the next few days please hug and kiss them for me and tell them that mama and daddy miss them.
Most Likely,
Greg